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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
gandhiz_minion's InsaneJournal:
| Monday, March 1st, 2010 | |
| 4:19 pm | mmm fuzzy austrailian ugly boots... yes, i got a pair =] they're the comfiest things i've ever squished my feet into. hmmm. this switch back to online from notebooks could be hard. but as long as i don't start turning back into the whiny bitch i was in high school, i think it'll be fine. so, recent things that have happened... -moved in with the 3rd roommate this year. i'm not having much luck with roommies this year =S just another month, tho, then i'm out of here. -mom's moving to germany, which is now where i'm spending my summer, after a few days in nebraska to switch cars back (and possibly convince dad into a jeep) =] -kristi's moving up here at the end of march, when ellie and i get back from hanging out with dad. -dad and jimmie have been in pisa for the past month-ish and are getting back on the first of may -i can still here my roommates tv even tho the headphones she requested i wear are now at max volume. -i'm considering it a personal victory that i'm still on blackberry #2 =] i thought i'd be on at least 5 by now XD -and my one emo moment this semester has been that i disabled my facebook awhile ago, and NOONE has noticed. i mean, i didn't really figure anyone but my grandma would, but not even she's noticed =[ (mmm the nobodies...good song for this blip =]) anyway, that's pretty much it. i'll try to update more often, but i really can't promise anything, especially since i feel like i don't really have anything worth saying anymore. atleast, not anything worth reading. it's all the same. urg i have to get out of here. -em |
| Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 | |
| 4:53 pm | *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* em is extra blah today. i should be in a good mood, cause i have a new job starting in january =] my chem professor noticed that i really enjoy chem lab, and that i'm apparantly good at it, and offered me a job working in his research lab on campus. i'm all kinds of excited =] but right now i just can't seem to be in the excited type mood. might be because the december concert is on tuesday, and i still don't know my part well enough. then in yesterday's rehersal a trumpet decided to turn my solo into a duet. that wouldn't normally bug me, and if i would've known, i wouldn't have played it, but really? i dunno, i talked to craig about it earlier today. he said one of the firsts was behind a measure and that could've been it, but...i dunno. *shrugs* whatever they decide i guess. and since i've quit or been fired or whatever, mom's freaking out and keeps telling me to call dad. that's one conversation i'd really rather not have. especially since neither of them seem to remember agreeing that i shouldn't have a job first semester. ug. nebraska was good tho. the zoo was cold, but ellie had fun =] seeing shaun went well, never did hang out with jake, bridgett's was fun...even tho we got totally lost =] the concert was AMAZING! ellie's in love with the guitarist xD ug. food. >.< *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  grumbly |
| Wednesday, November 11th, 2009 | |
| 2:19 pm | i haven't really smiled in i don't know how long, you know? *your god - stone sour* so i'm really not sure about any of this, and ellie isn't awake yet, so i haven't taken it yet, but i'm uber paranoid about it, so i'm taking one. needless to say, brita doesn't know...and neither does justin. and i'm trying to make sure neither of them find out... *update* it was negative. heck yes. for as much as i'm glad i took scilog, today is one of the days i wish i wouldn't have. because we found out all the numbers on stuff like this, i know there's only about a 21% chance that it's correct, and i'd have to take at least 3 to get the 99.9% accuracy they advertise. anyway, talking to shaun is going well. definately saving this convo XD lots of bird talk. thinking about getting a wax tomorrow. would have to be in the morning tho. need max amount of time before tai chi to not to anything excessively painful XD not like those 75 side kicks sabumnim decided were a good idea after ard and i got our first bikini waxes. ug. work. must find new job. *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  curious |
| Friday, November 6th, 2009 | |
| 8:18 am | well i want you to notice, to notice when i'm not around... *zoe jane - staind* definately my favorite song right now. stupid allergies =S i think the hardest part about this blog is realizing that noone actually cares. i'm publishing this, on the interwebs, but unless i do something stupid with it, it's pretty much just as private as one i write in and hide under the mattress or behind the bookshelf. probably moreso. i was thinking about it, and i think dad was right. i'm better with being up here now. i have to realize that nothing i say makes sense up here (chernobyl happened, people other than republicans exist, actually doing something in chem lab besides arguing with dr. schmidt is a good idea), but i'm doing better. still missing the city, still wish i could find a really big crane and put minot right next omaha, but i'm getting there. i'll probably be happy here by the time i leave for south korea XD i'm soo excited for south korea =D noone's really thrilled that i'm leaving for a year, and justin's convinced i'm going to replace him. i told him if i was going to do that, i'd start looking in spring break =] mom's in colorado springs this weekend, so i'm going home to watch hermes and the fish. i didn't want to go by myself, but sarah's going hunting, ellie has to work, and brita just didn't want to. i got all excited for a weekend to myself, but when i got back this morning, i've been informed that brita has changed her mind and doesn't want to mope around the dorm bored all weekend. which is fine, if we can get along(i think we can =]), and if she lets me drive. she's currently under the impression that we're taking her smallish suv, and i have no say in this. she's also decided that she's going to nebraska with us(ellie and i), and once again, that we have to take the smallish suv. the smallish suv isn't bad, it's a honda, it gets bonus points for that, and i guess it makes sense, cause then we can all do some of the driving, but...it's not my car. yes, if we take my car, i'm doing all the driving, cause i'm the only one that can drive manual, but i don't mind that. i like driving. and i'm the only one that's ever driven in omaha *shrugs* but it's whatev. i just want to drive =] and i don't like suv's XD *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  uncomfortable |
| Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 | |
| 3:21 pm | ahh blog =] i really missed blogging. been way more stressed since i stopped. but that's college i guess. way too stressing for meh own good. i think my only issue with restarting this is going to be that i NEVER have time anymore. ug. it absolutely sucks. and speaking of no time, off to work i go. i'll finish this when i get back. hopefully... *em* Current Mood:  busy |
| Monday, July 27th, 2009 | |
| 9:21 pm | you tell me when i'm being a son of a bitch, and i tell you when you're being a pain in the ass... ...which you are, 99% of the time. *the notebook* my new favorite movie of all time =] back from band camp, which was a blast! easily one of the best times i've had all summer *nods* there were 5 oboes in the international youth band (iyb) and a percussionist from sweden that looked exactly like meatloaf =] i got him to sign my autograph dog XD it was great. i've decided that this week is going to be my be lazy and sleep until whenever week. it's the first one i've had at home all summer. feels pretty good. i just have to remember to get stuff done when i'm awake, or mom won't let me go back home in time for the screaming for silence concert. yay responsibility! XP some days i wish i was a kid again. back in 1st grade, when the world was a comfortable round that only included north dakota, and everything else was a fairy tale. love was how i felt about my barbie dream house and matching pink convertible, and everything really was cured with a hug. the good old days. not now, when i'm older than dirt and on my way to college =S anyway, tired. *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  zonked |
| Sunday, July 19th, 2009 | |
| 7:54 am | don't eat the fish *system of a down - the cocaine makes me feel like i'm in this song* for some reason, i absolutely love this song XD no idea why. so, i know i don't post normally, but i figured i should say that i'll be gone for a week. off to band camp =] while i'm there, i'm going to try to figure out whether or not it's worth it for me to even keep this blog. thinking about changing it up and making it a writing journal. just something to keep me from going completly crazy once i hit college. i think that'd be good. gotta go, only have 2 1/2 hours till we leave, and i still have to pack =] *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  cheerful |
| Monday, July 13th, 2009 | |
| 11:00 pm | day care's, and little kids. AT THE SAME TIME!!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDD destrey. idek 6 - things that piss you off! you tube it =] omg 9 1/2's amazing. i've NEVER laughed that hard in my entire life. then i called kristi and made her watch it. she thinks it's hilarious, too. i emailed shaun the 'i love you' one, so after he watches it, and understands the amazingness!!! everyone will be amused. oh! except bridgett. she NEEDS to see these XDDDDD "and we all know the saying: guns don't kill people, people with mustaches do." ah destrey. *hugz* awesome. ahaha i'm getting married!!! XD not really. maybe tho. AND if i do, i have 2 maids of honor! kristi and bridgett, cause they could both handle my bridezilla moments =] but i keep telling him we should just run off to vegas! except i really want to go to oregon, cause we can get married in a donut shop! XD but he won't let me. he's set that we're going to do this the right way. no sneaking off and coming back married, even tho i think it's a better idea. hmmm...maybe not, cause my whole family would be on us like vultures trying to figure out whether or not i'm prego. and...i'm not. we've already had that family drama, thanks. seriously! how many times is my dad going to think i'm pregnant before he'll believe me that i'm NOT? *sigh* whatev. fine. we'll wait. talking to my future roomie. she seems pretty cool. about like every other girl up here XD outdoorsy, and she's prolly lived there her whole life. *jealous* i would love that. kay, i'll stop now before i get too into my rant that i know everyone's heard at least twice =] Current Mood: sleepy |
| Sunday, July 5th, 2009 | |
| 11:11 am | it hurts when you need me, and i can't break your fall, it hurts when you can't see, and it hurts. *hurt - thousand foot krutch* definately my new fave song. for this week =] fourth of july party wasn't too bad. *shrugs* not what i would've wanted to do on the 4th, but i had fun. everyone was really nice, and jj's wife is uber adorable =] ug. jed woke me up at like 3 thinking it was puppy play time. *bleh* sokay though, cause then i realized that i put 'thinking of you' by katy perry on my sleep playlist. XP should prolly go make some breakfast and wait for dad to wake up to see whether or not we're leaving today. *sigh* we're supposed to be, and i'd rather not spend a day here that i could be with shaun or bridgett. oh, and he agreed to my plan with the ferrari, as long as he gets to be in the passenger seat =] ...or behind me in a lamberghini *yeah, i can't spell* *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  anxious |
| Monday, June 22nd, 2009 | |
| 10:57 am | i'll pick you up, won't let you fall, i'll build your trust and it won't hurt at all *thousand foot krutch - the art of breaking* extra good song *nods* hmmm. i should update, i know i should, but these days i don't really know what to write. *shrugs* i guess if i think people should know something, i figure i'll actually tell them, which leaves everything else, all the unimportant stuff. and if it's unimportant, why would anyone really want to know anyway? i guess...i dunno. i really hate this thing. i hate having to think that face to face talking is less important these days than mass communication on the internet. *shrugs* *hugz* *em* Current Mood: bored |
| Monday, June 15th, 2009 | |
| 12:04 am | I don't have much time, cause here it's like midnight XD but I had to type up that I definately got kissed by a French guy at dinner tonight, so I don't forget to include it in the huge ass post when I get back. *hugz* *em* |
| Thursday, June 4th, 2009 | |
| 10:04 am | the city looks so pretty, do you want to burn it with me? till the skies bleed ashes and the fucking skyline crashes *hollywood undead - city* this is definately my new favorite song. which means it has to be crazy awesome, cause i got like 6 cds this week XD three days grace's self titled album disturbed: ten thousand fists system of a down: mezmerize toby keith XD thousand foot krutch: the art of breaking three days grace: one x hollywood undead: swan songs chevelle: wonder what's next kay, well it was 8. i was close XD *hugz* i love new music =] europe in 2 days!!! can't wait =D this year's going to be fun...unlike last year. this year, my parents are already divorced, we all know about jimmie, liz isn't going, and we're only going to like 5 cities, not the 10 we tried to fit in last year. and i really need to get off this continent to get some thinking done. *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  needs thinkin time |
| Monday, May 25th, 2009 | |
| 7:57 am | When I feel numb, I'll let you know, I won't become what I was before *thousand foot krutch - the art of breaking* easily my new favorite song =] kay, it's REALLLY hard typing a whole entry on this touch screen keyboard. I'm trying to type this on my iPod touch and not die from the first reaaaaaly big sneeze attack of the season. de-freaking-licious. anyway, I'm just bored, waiting for danielle to get up and kristi to get out of the bathroom so we can be on the road by 9. cause if were out of watertown by 9:15 that puts us in ptown by about 3, depending on how much ass whoevers driving is hauling the way there. *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  excited |
| Thursday, May 21st, 2009 | |
| 10:48 pm | and the home is where the heart is, built this tomb together i won't fill it alone... *marilyn manson - if i was your vampire* i love this song. i don't really know why...just tickles my fancy, i guess =] i actually almost got that book last night ^.^ i was in b.dalton, cause we're not cool enough for an actual huge barnes&noble, and i saw a display of '1984', 'animal farm', and 'farenheit 451'. =D that was basically what my face looked like, and i almost got '1984'. *hugz book* ...but since i'm a sucker for some stephen king...i got 'nightmares&dreamscapes'. and i'm getting 'needful things' for my birthday. possibly before then, when we're leaving for london. =] i'm finally excited for that trip. i wasn't for a long time...but now it's just going to be sweet. ^.^ alright, now that this is the longest entry i've had in awhile...guess i should get some sleep. which i probably won't. i'll probably watch some cartoons on the internets. see if i can find invader zim =D *hugz* *em* -the mood bug's finally right this time. this is the first time in a long time that i've felt this good...and the first time in even longer that it hasn't been one of my manic days. i'm feeling really good for being this middle ground. it's like, i'm not flying like i do when i'm manic, and i'm not drowning like i am when i'm below low (i'm not fond of the word depressed. makes me feel like one of those things they use to squish hamburger patties at the bakery.). i feel like i'm doing cartwheels on the balance beam of middle ground. i feel...normal. sane, for once. =] Current Mood: really good |
| Sunday, May 17th, 2009 | |
| 6:31 pm | i wanna be right where you are, like the moon among the stars *danny - that song on heartbeats after the spanish version of tokyo* good song. ...kinda the song i set as background music in my mind for shaun and i's relationship. the newly nonexistant one. bah. so i have a new life goal =] before i die, i want a ferrari 612 scaglietti, so i can take it down the autobahn in germany ^.^ i want to see how fast i can go =] if i crash, it actually won't be a big deal...cause i died driving a FERRARI down the AUTOBAHN =D i'll die happy =] god, that'd be fun. oh yeah, that's my new goal. now i just need 233k plus travel. but i think it might actually be more, cause i'd have to get one in europe. omg! buying a ferrari in italy! *melts* that would be the best day of my life. but yeah, so that's the plan =] i got bored cleaning so i figured i'd update about it ^.^ back to cleaning. gah. oh well, at least grad's in 7 days! i CAN'T WAIT to get the hell out of here! i mean, i really don't mind small towns, but i like my small towns near big cities =] *hugz* *em* Current Mood: mmm ferrari... |
| Saturday, May 16th, 2009 | |
| 4:58 pm | IGNORE. today's just been kind of...uck. i got dad's father's day present, all the adapters necessary for my ipod, my hair trimmed, and my grad cake ordered (peanut butter cup perfection with green icing. it's from coldstone =] ), but that's about all that went right. *shrugs* i had a good day with mom until she started getting tired. other than that tho... we got to forks, and, realizing what day it was, i almost txted shaun to tell him happy 10 months. then i remembered i can't do that anymore. there is no 10 months. i got home and got a message from ard saying we should go to the ren fair next weekend. i got all excited cause i haven't been in years, then googled the festival to see when it ended. it's last day is the same day i'm driving down, and i'll prolly be back in town about an hour and a half before it closes, so it's not even worth it for me to go. i'm getting really pissed at myself for moving up here. i mean, i couldn't have sucked it up and waited out 5 months? i could've been graduated by now, shaun and i probably wouldn't be broken up, and i would actually be able to go hang out with friends, not be stuck at home because i'm not stupid enough to go get smashed every night like every other student in the entire effing high school. all 99 of them. i wouldn't be stuck here, hearing about all the things i could be doing right now, but not being able to do a damn thing about it. i couldn't have just toughed it out a little longer. things probably only would've gotten worse, but if they would've, maybe i would've been able to really move in with ard, and not have to deal with dad and his "she's not going to replace your mom" girlfriend never being there when they said they would, and leaving me with the ball of fuzz that i'm insanely allergic to. anyway, now that i've cooled down a bit, i have to go deliver pizzas from the fundraiser for the *em* Current Mood: cranky |
| Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 | |
| 2:08 pm | *insert song lyrics here* i'm kind of a little bit in physics XD we're supposed to be doing lab reports, but we get tomorrow to do this too, so...yeah. XD gotta love senioritis =D feel like i should be doing something productive...but i don't feel like it, so i'm updating! ah, i love the sounds of those two being confused as all hell on the quiz they have to take after 5 days of being gone from class and not really caring about what we're doing anyway. and they were trashing us yesterday anyway, so *shrugs*. gotta love karma =] cause apparantly in physics, noone else does anything. but the only reason we don't get to do anything is cause they won't let us. they take control, have no idea what we're doing, act like they do anyway, and don't care. *sigh* 4 more days. 4 more days! then finals, i only have 1. well, 2 if you count physics, but all we're doing's making t-shirts =] physics is phun! i can't wait for summer vaca ^.^ hanging with ardness, hapkido, the zoo, europe, ROAD TRIPS!!! XD i love road trips. this one with ard and theenerz is going to be possibly more fun than colorado! more later, i think i'm going to go look up bungled jungle or find ard's grad present on thinkgeek =] *hugz* *em* Current Mood: good |
| Sunday, May 10th, 2009 | |
| 9:48 pm | love: genius or madness? ecstasy or torture? mineral or vegetable? warning: uber confuzzed teenage girl rant. i'm trying to figure things out. what is it? love, i mean. no two people can define it the same, those same two people can't even discribe it the same way. it's like, well, it felt good while we were together, but now that it's over, see ya later? is that all it is? one minute you're so 'in love' with each other you can't stand to be apart for longer than 5 minutes, but the next you can't even stand to look at each other, let alone act the way you did when you were 'in love'. maybe i'm wrong, but it seems the kind of love that everyone's looking for these days, 'true love', is limited to being bought on the internet (like everything else), seen on tv, read in books, or trapped in fairy tales. personally, if it exists at all, i don't think love is something you can buy a membership to find on the internet. and, since it's different for everyone, how do you know if you've found it at all? i guess we just deluded ourselves into thinking we were in love. all that's left is the pain of seperation, and that's the only thing about love that people can agree on. i agree that the pain is caused by separation, but i still don't think it's from losing love. breaking habits are hard. that could be all that it is. at least,that's what the logical side of me thinks. the emotional side? well, she's still too shattered to talk. wow, shorter than i thought. *em* Current Mood:  still numb |
| Thursday, May 7th, 2009 | |
| 9:48 pm | i really wanna make things right, cause without you in my life, i'm so lonely *lonely - akon* good song. probably not one that i should be listening to, but hey, i'm numb, what's it matter? i'm pretty sure it's only going to sink in once i'm back, or once i see him again. or, maybe i am really the coldhearted bitch i feel like i am. maybe this is all just a sign that i didn't love him as much as i thought i did. but really, what is love anyway? noone can define it, no 2 discriptions are ever the same, except the commercialized ones by the diamond industry. it doesn't make any logical sense. then again, what does today? damn, now i sound like someone's cynical grandma. *laughs* that can't be right. is this my idealism slipping away? dear god i hope not. so, i just found out that not only are kristi and danielle coming to my grad, but danielle's mom's coming too. i dunno. something about danielle's parents not trusting kristi's 'old' car ('93 or '94 ish cavalier, almost the exact same as danielles, but a year newer) to make it up here, even tho it just did it like a month ago, and them not being old enough for a rental. so danielle's mom's driving. *shrugs* not a big deal, but it took them like 2-3 weeks to figure all this out, and i just now heard about it. and kristi's got this habit of inviting other people to things that have kindof already been set. like, when we went on the college tour, that had been made for about a month, she told me 3 days before that miranda couldn't make it. i didn't exactly know miranda was interested in msu, and it would've been nice if i had known she was coming, but okay. *sigh* i already knew christina and miranda couldn't make it to grad, but i heard she was trying to get emily to come, too. kind of glad that one didn't happen. i actually don't think i've ever had a conversation with her for more than 3 minutes. ever. it's just a little confusing to find out that people i didn't even know were going, aren't. ug. so we started covering socialism and communism in world history. it's...interesting to be in a class where they teach that communism is a bad word...and that it's the same thing as socialism. pretty sure i'm the only idealist in that class. i try not to get into too many arguments, since i would be considered a communist up here, and that's as bad as a 4 letter word *nods* when we started discussion, and someone asked why we needed to learn it, since the u.s. isn't ever going to be one...i was laughing a little on the inside. ah, sophmores. they crack me up. i just think it's so funny that i'm amusing to them =] they think i should be on jeopardy XD that would be an epic fail on my part. *yawn* sleep time for the senior. who is graduating in 17 days =] *hugz* *em* Current Mood:  nerdy |
| Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 | |
| 10:00 pm | *laughs* i definately don't envy you right now' yeah, i'm pretty sure i don't envy myself either. i really just want to step outside of my life for a while so i can take a deep breath and figure out this mess i'm in. kay, so 5 random intrests (selected by ardness) that i'm supposed to talk about. ranch dressing:
Current Mood: good |